Leaving Mother Lake - Half Way Review

Nathan Schulman

 

Halfway Book Review

 

Leaving Mother Lake

Namu's memoir takes place in the remote areas of the Himalayas (Northern Yunnan); a place the Chinese call "the country of daughters."  This is the home of the Moso, a society in which women rule.  In this culture and society, marriage is a foreign practice.  Property is passed from mother to daughter (matrilineal descent).  There is a matriach who overseas each family's customs, rituals and economics.

Namu

Namu wants to know about her birth.  Her Ama, her mother, tells her that she was nothing but trouble and that she cried for the first three years of her life.  Ama’s best friend, Dujema tells her the story.  Namu was born in the year of the horse and it was early in winter.  Everyone thought that Latso, (Namu’s mother), was birthing a boy because her labor was so painful.

My mother’s disappointment at my birth was unusual, says Namu.  For the Moso, it is custom to favor daughters over sons. Women inherit the family house and rule the household.  Men’s roles are to herd the yaks in the mountains, to travel with the horse caravans to trade in the outside world, and to make the journey to Lhasa to study the holy Buddhist scriptures and become lamas (holy men), who name the children and send the souls of the departed on to the next cycle of life.

According to family tradition, family should never divide.  Daughters and sons should remain with the mother and other maternal relatives for their entire life.  Ideally, all family members should die in the house where they were born.  However, Namu’s mother had broken with tradition…when she was young she had run away because she was proud and strong…and settled two days walk away in Zuosuo, so her family was different from traditional ones…no men and no grandmothers and aunts.

Zhemi (from Quianso ~ where Namu’s grandmother lived) was Namu’s father.  Women and men do not marry, for the Moso believe that love is like the seasons, it comes and goes.  A Moso woman may have many lovers and many children in her lifetime.   None of the children live with their fathers.  Children live in their mother’s homes and take the family name of maternal ancestors.  Children grow up with their cousins.  The only men in the house are the brothers and uncles of the women, so children have many uncles who take care of them.

So little Namu proved to be troublesome when she cried incessantly…Her Ama took her to the Lama to help with naming her and to get her to stop crying.  The Lama named her Erche Namu, meaning “treasured princess.”  This naming, however, did not stop Namu’s crying.  Namu was exchanged three times with another child (a custom in the Moso culture) in an effort to solve her situation, and each time she was returned, because she kept crying.  Instead, her older sister was sent to live with Aunt Yufang, and Ama gave birth to a little boy, Howei.  Namu became fascinated with Howei, and never cried again.  She had cried enough for a lifetime.

The book goes on to tell the story of Namu’s mother, Latso, who grew up in the region of Qiansuo.  Her mother was the Dabu, head of household, in charge of planning and organizing work and distributing food and other goods.  Grandmother was respected and given attention by everyone in the family.  Dabu are entrusted with responsibility because they are wise, smart and capable.

All Moso women are hardworking and skillful:   plowing the earth, chopping wood, sewing clothes, and butchering animals.  Moso men  helped in the fields, made furniture, and took care of outside business as described above.  Namu’s grandmother educated her daughters to take care of the fields and the house, and she entrusted to her brothers the rearing of her sons, as per Moso custom.

Grandmother lost one of her sons to the caravan, he never returned and she grieved his loss greatly. Namu’s mother, Latso, was grandmother’s third daughter.  Grandmother had hoped that she would become Dabu and succeed her as head of the family.

In 1956, the People’s Liberation Army (PLA) reached Yongning, the Moso capital.  The Communists came to Qiansuo, and said that “China had ‘turned over’ and a new era had dawned” (p. 22).  Moso women do not travel far, because they are responsible for the crops and the house.  Very few of the women had ever seen Chinese people before.  They invited them to spend the night in their homes.  The Chinese people began their revolutionary work…they hung red banners with Chinese characters that no one in the village could read, held daily political meetings to teach the local masses.  The older people got bored, while the young people were captivated, for the Communists said that the young people are the most vital force in society.

Latso was very influenced by the meetings she attended and Grandmother could see that her education of her daughter was coming undone.  Namu says in the story that boredom turned my mother into a revolutionary.

Moso custom forbids shouting at relatives, so grandmother shouted at the pigs.  She sang words of ritual for people who have lost their souls (the pigs just ran away).  The whole family noticed the change in my mother.  She chose to leave with the revolutionaries.  Ama was too embarrassed and stubborn to change her mind and stay home.

Latso fell in love with Numbu (a courtship song and dancing are described), and a home was built for her in Zuosuo (2 days walk from Grandmother’s home).  Namu says, “My mother’s decision to start her own family was a shocking one.  Dividing the maternal house goes very much against Moso tradition” (p. 33).  Ama’s home was like all the other houses in the village.  All Moso speak the same language, but every village has its own dialect and intonation, and Latso's accent was interesting to her new neighbors.  Numbu lived with his Mother and relations through the female line.  He would visit Latso at night.  When a Moso woman wished to no longer see a lover, she would hang his bag on a nail outside her door, according to custom.  The lover would see this and leave.

Latso had many opportunities to return home to her Mother, but she said, “I am going to show my mother that I can raise my own family” (p. 37).  As the story telling continues, Namu, her Ama and sister, Zhema find out the terrible news that Grandmother is gravely ill. They must hurry to Qiansuo in the morning.   They had much preparation to make for in Moso custom, Ama had to bring a gift for every member of her family as well as for every family in Grandmother's village.  Gifts usually consisted of tea, sugar or wine. Ama's family returns to Grandmother's home too late, for Grandmother has died.  The death rituals leading to cremation of the body are discussed.  Ama returns home a deeply saddened woman.  She continues to do her chores and cooks for her family, however, in a quiet way that shows her grief.

 

So far, this book has been a good read.  Namu writes her memoir in a style that keeps the reader interested, while educating him/her in the customs of a matrilineal society.